On Death And Dying
Several months ago I was notified of the death of a woman I met only once, but whose strength, charisma and courage made a lasting impression on me. Annie died of cancer after discovering a couple years ago that the disease had her in it’s grasp. She lived in Melbourne yet chose to die in Queensland, in the sun and by the sea as she did not want to die in hospital. I was told she’s an oncology sister by profession so I imagine her decision was a very educated one. Her husband and sister were holding her hand as she slipped away.
I am also told by my very good friend that, “She was an amazing human being, contributing to people’s lives in a most awe-inspiring way….Just too bloody early to be dying at fifty-two…..mind you, what Anne jammed into her short life most people wouldn’t get into three normal ones…Vale Annie…”
She went on to say that it’s, “A wonderful gift, to be able to nurse someone you love until the very end, but an awful strain…especially if it’s drawn out..I was able to do so with my Mum a few years ago and it was such a privilege…”
Because of these conversations we’ve been having over the last few days I decided to pull out one of my books called, “Death The Final Stage Of Growth” – By Elisabeth Kubler-Ross, M.D. (A psychiatrist and world-renowned authority and counselor on death.) She has written a number of illuminating books on the subject that certainly assist people in gaining another perspective, especially when death is a subject that is evaded, denied and ignored in our youth worshipping, progress-orientated society.
The fact is, we will all die, most of us just don’t know when!
I have really appreciated being able to talk with my friend about death, not in a morbid way, but in a healing and almost uplifting way…and one that certainly makes me appreciate more of what I have been given right now….a wonderful life and perfect health.
I like to think I have an affinity and acceptance for all faiths, religions and beliefs. I remember reading a book written by John Edward (a psychic medium who many people believe has the ability to speak to those we have loved and lost) where he said that, “Prayers are like music to their ears”, and since hearing that, I always say, “God Bless You” when I hear of someone’s passing or even a see a dead animal on the side of the road. It somehow makes me feel comforted and almost complete in a way.
This space is available for anyone else to express themselves in any way they see fit. There are no rules about how to talk about death, I think it’s just really important that we do.
I was very open when my Mum was dying and died….even to the point when I sent the thank-you cards to people after she’d died, I refused (and still do) to refer to her (or anyone for that matter) as “passing away” or “over”….what’s wrong with saying someone’s “died”…?? And I made her discuss everything with me….what type of funeral/farewell she wanted….all that….I think it’s SO important because it’s as much a part of Life as Birth so why all the taboos….. ?? I’ve always liked EK-R’s approach…had a few of her books in my old life…… I haven’t gone as far yet as to list music I want for my send off, though I do have friends who have…and as for being left in a GRAVE…..oook….!!! Useless waste of good fertilizer…..!!!! I want to be buried, vertically…in the most environmentally supportive way possible….so the old bod can at least be fertiliser for something new…..Not burning and adding more CO2s to the already overloaded atmosphere, either…….!!!!